The Spotlight.

I’m not the kind of person to enjoy the spotlight. I don’t desire to have all eyes on me nor do I seek attention from a crowd of people. I guess you can say I’m more reserved. Although I do love to be social I am not extrovert or unrestrained. I am gregarious but not expansive. I prefer a quiet slip through the back door for an exit rather than a grand finale. So being a leader isn’t the most appealing thing to me, I never had a problem with being that supportive team player anyway. I am no follower though, let me tell you that; I’m definitely my own individual. So maybe I’ll always be below some people in life, so what? I never understood the point of being up high with pride if it meant being constricted in a little space. I am perfectly content with being the bashful person I am, I take no shame in that. No one really gets why I choose to avoid the spotlight, but that’s okay. I don’t have to be completely understood to know where I stand as an individual.

When our lives touched I knew things were never going to be the same.

Is it wrong to regret it?

You may have not been the best influence. You may have not been the most good-willed person. You may have not made the best choices. But you were a good friend, and that’s what I miss most about you. It’s weird how we used to have so much in common but now we’re absolutely nothing alike. I changed, and we parted our ways, though I wish we didn’t. I never wanted to lose you, but I don’t want things to go back to the way they were. All we ever did together was a lot of stupid crap that our lives really didn’t deserve. But at least we were there for each other. You looked out for me, and you listened to my rants. You were always the one to defend and comfort me. When I decided to choose a different route in my life, you thought that it meant that I didn’t want you around anymore, and you left. And I didn’t do anything to stop you, and I wish I did.

I feel so out of place.

:(

Honestly, what could have I done differently?

Isn’t it funny how from year to year, you don’t see much of a change in yourself, physical or emotional, then suddenly you look back and you are a different person? It’s like watching the hour hand on a clock: you don’t really see it move, but it’s changing all the time.

Life seems so different now,

and I don’t know why.

After High School,

I think about how different life will be. 

It gets closer everyday.

It’s crazy to think how different your life would be if you never met those people that changed everything.

When you start to think that you know a person

then the years go by, and you realize that you’re more different than you ever imagined.